why English is so confusing

Hey folks! Got this funny article from another local paper (yep, i read different kinds of newspapers. usahay, maski putos sa buwad ako pod basahon kay malingaw man pod ko magbasa). Hope you'll enjoy reading it the way i do.

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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English language?
Let's face it, English is a silly language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine or apple in a pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France
(These are among my favorite foods but dunno where they came from or how there were invented. I still have to research for their origin)

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is not from Guinea nor is it a pig

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing?
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught?

If the vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does humanitarian eat? (I like this a lot! ahihihi)
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up
As it burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filing it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people and not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)