modern love letter

MODERN LOVE LETTER> >> >Dearest Samantha,> >> >I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in> >love with you since Tuesday, the 17th of August 2001.> >With reference to the meeting held between us on the> >17th of August 2001 at 1500 hours, I would like to> >present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair> >would be on probation for a period of no less than> >three months and depending on compatibility, would be> >made permanent.> >Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be> >continuous relationship training and relationship> >appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover> >to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and> >entertainment would initially be shared equally> >between us. Later, based on your performance, I might> >take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am> >broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your> >expense account.> >I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of> >receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would> >be canceled without further notice and I shall be> >considering someone else. I would be happy, if you> >could forward this letter to your sister, if you do> >not wish to take up this offer.> >Thanking you in anticipation.> >> >Yours sincerely, Max> >> >> >MODERN REPLY TO MODERN LOVE LETTER> >> >Dear Max,> >> >Please refer to your letter dated today. I am pleased> >to inform you that I hope to accept your proposal for> >romance.> >However, you should be informed that there are certain> >conditions of acceptance. Promotional prospects are to> >my satisfaction. However, please enlighten me as to> >your retirement benefits. Gratuity should be generous.> >I also need to be assured that there is sufficient> >security with regards to this commitment. If there is> >any chance at all of retrenchment or consequent> >disinterest on your part, then I should receive> >monetary compensation according to union standards.> >Due to the nature of my position, I am sure you will> >agree that an expense account should be arranged for> >my access in light of the 'VIP'. I shall be> >entertaining. In addition, housing and transport> >allowances should be in order and nothing less than a> >Jaguar is in order.> >Please also note that there should be no moonlighting> >restrictions placed on myself. If you are still> >interested in the relationship, please reply on an> >urgent basis as other prospective lovers have sent> >indications of interest.> >Please also note that my sister is happily employed.> >> >Yours perhaps, Samantha!

have some laugh...

Pinoy wit is really extra-ordinary... whew! iba talaga ang Pinoy...
please read if you want to have some good laugh...


Excuse Letters - Filipino

These are excuse notes from parents (including
original spelling) collected by schools from all over
the country.

My son is under a doctors care and should not take
P.E. today. Please execute him.
-hala! Sige. Silya elektrika at bitay. Sabay pa! O
kaya niyo yun?

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and
I had her shot. -pag nag-absent pala papatayin ka
..... siyet! Baka may rabies...

Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan.
28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
- A grabe to. Nasa kalindaryo pa ang birthday ko
kung ganon. Hahaha!

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is
administrating. - ano daw????

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days.
Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
-- hanapin natin!

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken
out of his face.
-bwehehehe... la ako masabi... Bwahahaha! Ganito
kasi yan. Kinagat siya ni Lola sa noo sa gigil. Tapos
nabali yung ngipin ng pustiso niya. Hahaha!!!

Megan could not come to school today because she has
been bothered by very close veins. - Buti pa veins
niya. Close sila. Hahahaha!!!

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his
side.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very
loose vowels. -ah.....eh....i.....ow....u....

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He
had
(diahre)(dyrea)(direathe) the shits. [words in ()s
were crossed out. -Sinabi na kasi LBM na lang e.
Pasosyal pa kasi.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his
bust.
- So transsexual pala si Irving?

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas
shopping because I dont know what size she wear.

Sally wont be in school a week from Friday. We have to
attend her funeral. - Ala e! Mabuhay ang Patay!!
Mayroong Himala!!!

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had
a cold and could not breed well. - stud service ba
yung school nya? baka gremlins siya.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a
gangover. - Ay grabe! Iba na talaga ang mga kabataan
ngayon. Hahaha!

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a
fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her
sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her
brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I
wasnt the best either, sore throat and fever. There
must be something going around, her father even got
hot last night. - hahaha, telenovela... bow.
Makuwento siya ha... Kulang lang sa pansin...

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday.
We forgot to get The Sunday paper off the porch, and
when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
- winner to!!!!!!!!!! Anggaling!!!! Puwede rin kaya
sa office ito?