modern love letter

MODERN LOVE LETTER> >> >Dearest Samantha,> >> >I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in> >love with you since Tuesday, the 17th of August 2001.> >With reference to the meeting held between us on the> >17th of August 2001 at 1500 hours, I would like to> >present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair> >would be on probation for a period of no less than> >three months and depending on compatibility, would be> >made permanent.> >Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be> >continuous relationship training and relationship> >appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover> >to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and> >entertainment would initially be shared equally> >between us. Later, based on your performance, I might> >take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am> >broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your> >expense account.> >I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of> >receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would> >be canceled without further notice and I shall be> >considering someone else. I would be happy, if you> >could forward this letter to your sister, if you do> >not wish to take up this offer.> >Thanking you in anticipation.> >> >Yours sincerely, Max> >> >> >MODERN REPLY TO MODERN LOVE LETTER> >> >Dear Max,> >> >Please refer to your letter dated today. I am pleased> >to inform you that I hope to accept your proposal for> >romance.> >However, you should be informed that there are certain> >conditions of acceptance. Promotional prospects are to> >my satisfaction. However, please enlighten me as to> >your retirement benefits. Gratuity should be generous.> >I also need to be assured that there is sufficient> >security with regards to this commitment. If there is> >any chance at all of retrenchment or consequent> >disinterest on your part, then I should receive> >monetary compensation according to union standards.> >Due to the nature of my position, I am sure you will> >agree that an expense account should be arranged for> >my access in light of the 'VIP'. I shall be> >entertaining. In addition, housing and transport> >allowances should be in order and nothing less than a> >Jaguar is in order.> >Please also note that there should be no moonlighting> >restrictions placed on myself. If you are still> >interested in the relationship, please reply on an> >urgent basis as other prospective lovers have sent> >indications of interest.> >Please also note that my sister is happily employed.> >> >Yours perhaps, Samantha!