tHe mYst3ry of LoV3

Love is a mystery. Why do we fall in love and how does it happen? Why does love come only to go afterwards? Why does it grow only to wither away?

You may analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes but you will never find anymore than what experience can offer. Just as life itself is something more than the sum of bones, muscles, and pulses in the body, love is more than the sum of interests, attractions and similarities that two individuals share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too must be the coming of love be taken as unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its ways.

One would hope that at least once in his lifetime, the gift of love would come in full flower and he would take hold of it and celebrate it in its inexpressible beauty. This is a dream we all share. Often, love comes and takes hold of us, celebrates with us for a brief moment, then it moves on. Young people often try to grasp it and hold it tight, refusing to see that it is a gift that freely came within reach and thus has to move away freely. When they, or the object of their affection, fall out of love, they try desperately to reclaim it rather to accept it for what it was and for how long it took, then move on. They would seek answers to unanswerable questions. They would think deeply what’s wrong with them until they start hating themselves, or work to get the people they love to change to the point of suffocation. They would blame the circumstances and try to give meaning instantly to everything that has happened. But how can one find meaning instantly beyond the love that it is in itself a sea of mystery?

We need to accept love as it is and treat ourselves with kindness. If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There’s nothing wrong with you but it’s just that love chose not to rest in the heart of the person you love.

If you find someone in love with you and you didn’t love him, feel honored that love has come and knocked at the door of your heart –but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage and be a cause of pain.

If you love each other but later love chooses to leave, do not reclaim of blame it—let it go. There is a reason and meaning for everything. You will know it in time, but time will choose the right moment.

Remember that you do not choose love—it is love that chooses. One can never force himself to love unless love rests in his heart. All he can do is accept love in all its mystery as soon as it comes, and relishes its taste which is at its best when shared with the person who brought it in and the people around him. It should not be treated as a need. Love should be viewed as something that flows out and not as something that flows in. Love is attracted to him who generates love and eludes him who is a sucker of love. Love only grows by giving it away.

Love has its own time and season. It cannot be bribed, coerced or reasoned to stay. One can only embrace it when it arrives and releases it when it leaves. Love has always been and will always be a mystery.

If by any chance you have loved and it has left, be glad that it came to dwell for a moment in your heart. If you keep the doors of your heart open, surely it will come again.